Wednesday, January 16, 2013

How to get rich quick in 2013

India is no longer a land that worships the mind. More than anything else it worships the material. Even our temples have become grounds for quid pro quo where blessing is not what people seek but just riches.

We are no longer happy with homes. We want to live in monuments. We want farmhouses with pools and dubious women swimming in them. We want to wear brands that we will never be able to pronounce and read books that have so many shades of grey that we may never be able to count.

We are the new India. Where collectors of art have nothing to do with the appreciation of it. Where people have become collectors of titles and friends without appreciating the value of either. Where it is not important as to who you are but how you live.

Where the Nano is a symbol of poverty rather than some technological marvel. Where politicians build statues of themselves with handbags that are kept open. Where brother fires at brother only for a few more square yards of land.

We are a country that even makes materialism shine through in weddings and birthdays. In the good old days we were happy with a cake. Today’s brats need more: they need five-star hotel parties with luscious Mummies attending who’d be better off sharing Tutankhamen’s tomb.

I have a quaint rule. I rarely attend weddings but do make it a point to attend funerals. At least in the latter you know the name of the person who’s just passed away. Today’s weddings are a despicable show of wealth.

We in India have overtaken the world as far as weddings are concerned. From the Versailles to Venice, there is an infection that has spread with the benign catering of this elegantly named Munna Maharaj.

Our schools are no better. There was a time you went to school on the dint of merit. Today you go there on the dint of your father’s money: legitimate or otherwise. So, in an India like this, it doesn’t pay to be poor unless of course you are die-hard Communists but then again, Communists are hardly human.

Our parents would worry if we made unnecessary phone calls when we were young. But today, your parents want you to carry a smartphone only so that their peers can appreciate them for their savoir fare. So, in this kind of India, you must become rich and you must do that quicker than your neighbour or for that matter some ghastly relative who has been the attention of your evil eye.

So, here is a guide to becoming rich and doing so quickly at that. This is not as exhaustive a list as it should be but will serve the purpose for 2013.

1 Join politics but not for the people. Do it for the money so that youremain focused and don’t have to worry (or feel guilty) about water, sanitation and electricity. If you, in the process, can muster up an army of goons, that will only enhance both your prestige as also your bank balance.
Most politicians in this country are fine examples of rags-to-riches and tearing up other people to leave them in rags. It would be best to avoid two parties however. Avoid joining the Communists or for that matter the Trinamool.

Both these parties are stupidly clean and tolerate zero corruption as far as money is concerned. If you join the DMK or the AIADMK, you will see the quickest return on investment. If you however join the Congress in Bengal you may not even see Rahul Gandhi leave alone a loaf of bread. The other parties, which allow you to live and let’s be rich, are the NCP, SP, BSP and about 73 other registered parties.

2 Become a Government servant and ensure that you are never promoted where the CAG could scrutinise your activities; so it would help to rise to the level of a joint secretary or even a director in any Government department.

Try working for any department that has to do with land, power, water, forests, finance, excise, alcohol, law and order and so on. It is tough at the beginning but then the longer you are in Government the swifter you lose your conscience so it is all a matter of time.

3 Start a co-operative and see how everyone else other than you loses both the plot and the monies. There are, however, fine examples of those who have been very successful with co-operatives.

One became the nation’s President and the other is president of a national political party. This is the most honorable racket you can get into other than legalised gambling but since the latter is only in Delhi’s farmhouses it will be a while before you can get there.


4 Marry someone rich. This is the oldest trick in the book except it is getting refined now. There is no stigma in the male being the house-help if he can dig into his wife’s riches and equally into other men’s wives.

I am seeing this remarkable trend of gender neutrality become all pervasive. Become a good solid househusband but for that you will have to work hard. You will need to work out and make sure you never utter an intelligent word which should not be difficult if all you do is pump iron.
So, go forth into the world and stalk the place for unhappy single ugly but rich women and you might find that pot (literally so) of gold.

5 Become a media barren. If you look around today, editors are richer than most industrialists and they have greater power as also greater cerebral acceptance, which is a good thing. Also, the other remarkable thing that is happening in today’s India is that some media barons have become wily businessmen.

The media is only their side-interest: their main interest could well be drug or gunrunning but then who cares once you are rich. So, you may well try and become a media baron by starting a magazine that no one will ever read or running a channel that even Renuka Choudhry will not appear on. But it will surely get you on some Rich List and that way you can begin the journey of conning the banks and other sundry honest folks.

6 Become a sports administrator. Look around you and you will observe the power and money that some of these sports folks command. The rule, however, is you should have never played any sport because it will be a meaningless distraction and you should be good at calculating margins on mundane things like clocks and astro-turf.

Once you have done this, your life will be a merry go-around. Look at what some of our finest sports administrators have achieved? They are wealthy; they are powerful; some of them are even in the Cabinet and some have even taken the trouble of going to jail all for the cause of better sports in India.

You must follow these iconic role models and change the imprint of Indian sport. Try and avoid cricket though. Never go to bed with an elephant for you never know when the pleasure will end and the pain begin.

Finally, there are other ways of getting rich too but they are neither quick nor are they unmitigated fun. You could if you really want to be Gandhian, become a teacher who doesn’t do private tuition. 

You could also be an honest professional in a fine company but then when you retire you will have to move to some old-age home in Benares. You could also become a lawyer or for that matter a judge but then why would you want to take the trouble of yeoman public service?

Just imagine 2013 to become your meal ticket to a life of earning without working. There is no better pleasure than that and you will always have the last laugh to the bank that one day you might in any case rob.

Have a splendid illegitimate and unworthy 2013.




More is not always better while investing to save tax

Most salaried employees are running around to make last minute investments to save income tax and provide the proof of investments to the employer. This is because most companies ask their employees to submit the proof of their investments in January to avoid deduction of higher taxes from the salary. Last minute tax planning is an age old practice that forces tax payers to make hasty, and often wrong, decisions.

Typically, some individuals invest more than the required amount to save taxes. They also end up parking money in wrong products in the process, which may have an adverse impact on their cash flows and return prospects. It is not surprising that the insurance industry do most of its business during the tax- saving season between January and March every year.

"Often we tend to buy products or make investments without doing the due diligence on our total tax structure. Having a tax plan in place at the start of the financial year will help you make better decisions and even reduce the burden on financials at the end of the financial year," says Nitin Vyakaranam, founder & chief executive officer, Artha Yantra, a financial planning firm.

A SMALL 80 C BASKET

Tax planning is all about Section 80 C for many individuals. They believe they are claiming all tax break if they invest Rs 1 lakh in some of the usual investment tools like public provident fund, national savings certificates, tax planning mutual fund scheme and so on.

But what tax payers don't account for is the employees' contribution to provident fund, children's school tuition fees and the principal repayment of housing loans also qualify for tax deduction under Section 80 C, which is capped at an overall limit of Rs 1 lakh. 

If you invest anything over and above Rs 1 lakh in ELSS, life insurance, PPF or NSC, it does not give you an extra tax benefit. It is just that your money gets locked in for a certain period which can range from 3 to 15 years in the above mentioned products.

For example, EPF contribution and life insurance premiums are covered under Section 80C apart from the principal repayment of housing loans. That means most regular employees can invest only a few thousands extra under Section 80C. For example, if your EPF contribution is Rs 5,000 per month, it would exhaust more than half of Section 80 C. Add your life insurance premium and you will know how little you can save under the section.

"Typically, your existing investments would include your contribution to EPF, life insurance premiums, housing loan repayment, stamp duty and registration fees paid, children tuition fees, etc. 

If the sum of all these exceeds Rs 1 lakh, then you don't need to invest further as the deduction is capped at Rs 1 lakh," says Vaibhav Sankla, director, H&R Block, India.

However, if the sum of your tax-saving investments is less than Rs 1 lakh, then you may consider investing the balance amount for additional tax benefits.

For example, if your existing investments are to the tune of Rs 60,000 then you can still make additional tax saving investments of Rs 40,000 (Rs 100,000 minus Rs 60,000). "But the tax saving on the additional investment would be Rs 4,000 only. 

In such cases, many tax payers would rather opt to pay income tax of Rs 4,000 than blocking Rs 40,000 in a tax-saving scheme," says Sankla.


Courtesy-http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/personal-finance/tax-savers/tax-news/more-is-not-always-better-while-investing-to-save-tax/articleshow/18027366.cms


Final letter of Ratan Tata to the employees


In a beautifully worded letter, outgoing chairman Ratan Tata in his final letter to the employees called upon them to face the challenges ahead with grit and determination. The humble industrialist expressed his gratitude and asked for his employees' support for his heir Cyrus Mistry.

Dear Colleague,

As 2012 comes to an end, let me wish you and your family all the best for the New Year. I hope that 2013 and the future years bring you good health, peace of mind and great happiness.

This is also the last time that I write to you prior to my retirement as the Chairman of the Tata Group and I want to convey to you how privileged I have been to have had the opportunity of leading this great Group over the last two decades through good times and bad

Whatever has been achieved has only been possible because of the amazing spirit, the dedication of each one of you and the enormous support and faith reposed in me, for which I am deeply grateful and appreciative.

I feel immensely proud of the manner in which the employees and the companies have come together in facing crises from time to time. These have included adverse market conditions, natural calamities like earthquakes and tsunamis and gruesome acts of terrorism.

The memories of personal sacrifices, loyalty and individual acts of heroism will always remain in my memory, to reinforce the great sense of pride I have in having been a member of this team. We today are a $100 billion Group in revenues.

Over the past 20 years our revenues have grown about 20 times and today 58% come from overseas operations. Our brand has emerged as the 45th global and the number one Indian brand. Our products and services are present in 85 countries.

We therefore have every reason to feel proud and feel confident in facing the challenges ahead. The difficult economic environment that we face in the current year will most likely continue through most of the next year.

We will probably see continued constraints in consumer demand, over-capacity and increased competition from imports. There will therefore be great pressure on our companies to reinvent themselves in terms of business processes and to dramatically reduce costs, to be more aggressive in the market place and to widen our product range to better address consumer needs. We will also need to contain our borrowings and work hard to retain our margins.

This environment would once again call on you for your support, your commitment and your dedication to achieve success in these somewhat difficult times. This seemingly gloomy picture however will be a passing phase.

I feel confident that the robust growth that India has shown over the past several years will be re-established and the strong fundamentals in the country will result in India once again taking its place as one of the economic success stories of the region.

The Tata Group will undoubtedly play an important role in the continued development of our country, providing leadership in various industrial segments in which they operate and living by the value systems and ethical standards on which our Group was founded. The future growth of the Group will be led in the coming years by Cyrus Mistry.

I am sure that he will receive from you the same support, the same commitment and the same understanding that I have enjoyed over the years. Tatas are a Group where I feel proud to have belonged and proud to have been associated through the years. I wish the Group, Cyrus Mistry and each of you great success in the years ahead. I hope the Group grows and shines in the coming years.

Yours sincerely,
Ratan N Tata, chairman, Tata Sons